Living... Alone...

Hello all you lovely people... otherwise known as assholes.
Hey.
It's ok.
I am one of you.

So I have been all settled into my new apartment for about a week and fuck yeah it's been awesome. Sometimes it's really boring though. Like woah! I'm so bored I might try to climb on the ceiling. I have so much energy and time to do nothing! It's great. Truly.

I've listed some pros and cons to living alone... Ready? No? Ok, fuck you I'm going anyways.

Pros
1. I sing... A lot... Awfully. So I can do that shamelessly now.

2. I do anything and everything with the doors open. I don't have to ever close any door except my front door. I can't explain why this is magical to me... But it is.

3. I eat what I want... I don't have to ask what anyone wants for dinner. Ever.

4. I can look ugly until I go out into the world.

5. I don't have to count on anyone for rent or grocery money because that would just put me in a constant state of panic.

6. I can decorate however I damn well please! "I think that poster with 'Frankie says relax!' looks good fuckknuckle!"

7. Basically... I do whatever the fuck I want. It's awesome.

Cons
1. What the fuck, bugs. OHMYGOD I had to PICK a roach UP. Thank Jesus it was already dead... because if it wasn't I would have been stuck in a corner with a bottle of windex praying I was hitting it and it didn't fly. OH GOD THE MADNESS! So that sucks... Not having anyone to pick up dead things. Or kill gross things.

2. Uhhh...

3. I got nothing.

4. Oh, I have to clean everything... But that's really ok because I have so much free time.

So there you have it! I just got my couch today and I'm super happy with it..

It's colder than a widows vagina outside so I get to stay warm up in this awesome apartment of awesome fun ceiling climbing fun. Fun. Who wants to come over and help me climb on the ceilings? Or we can drink until we think we're on the ceiling but we're really still on the floor going "Hey, this ceiling is well carpeted."

Decide wisely young skywalker.