FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
I am officially 3 weeks postpartum with my second kiddo and let me tell you one thing - Motherhood is the most wonderful, difficult piece of pumpkin pie doused with laxatives that somehow constipate you that I've ever been through (so far).
Ok, to be honest it's not JUST motherhood it's that plus wifeness mixed with a little bit of "who the fuck am I now?" because after 2 kids at 26, I just don't know. I have no clue.
I know how to be a mom, I know how to be a wife, I have no idea how those two ideas are supposed to merge...
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Monday, December 11, 2017
38 Weeks - The Baby Sites VS Me
- I never published this post - I went into labor shortly after I wrote it with my daughter. I re-read it and couldn't stop laughing. It's been 3 years since I posted anything good on this website, and thought it was about time to begin again.
This is from Early September 2014 --
It's been a while since I've posted and that's mainly because I don't feel like writing out my long thoughts on this subject or that and feel I'm quite volatile as of late so my opinions may come off as rather "Fuckity fuck go fuck yourrrseellffff" more than humorous......
Thursday, May 22, 2014
It will come swiftly and end horribly
Oh fucking hell.
I think I'm not in a good place as far as sanity goes.
Let's start with, I feel awful. I have a virus and it's a constant shitting, nausea, vomiting virus. I know, you're probably thinking, noooo Taylor, that's called pregnancy, but, FUCK YOU BECAUSE IT'S CALLED A GODDAMN VIRUS.
Pregnancy has given me my fair share of random shits and morning sickness. I get it, but this is NOT that. That is innocent in comparison. This... What I have... This is not innocent. It rips your insides apart and makes you think you're going into early...
Thursday, March 6, 2014
The Pregnancy Post
I'm 10 - almost 11 weeks pregnant.
Wow. Let's go over the gems that happen during pregnancy.
1.) Obvs. Morning Sickness - It's like, my mouth just got super watery and I think I'm going to vomit. But, no, it's just a lot of gagging and the sound only Satan himself could make flowing from my mouth. I didn't know I could even make noises like that. It's a burp, I think... but so much louder. I would win any burping competition with that shit right...
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Adventure Awaits...
Recently a few classmates I went to high school with passed away. I can't say I knew them all that well. I knew of them. They had a lot of friends and from the glimpses I did see of them... well, they were teenage boys. I graduated with the Class of '09. That was 5 years ago.
They were in their early 20's and their lives were cut short by a power greater than us. I've prayed and will pray for their families and keep my hopes up that we don't lose anymore young souls. Unfortunately, the fact is, someone will be taken away from us.
My point for...
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Goddamnit Mr. Noodle
My parent's are meeting his parents this weekend.
On top of the little loaf I pinch just thinking about that scenario, I'm also frustrated that my anxiety gets so bad that I actually want to literally shit myself.
I don't let my friends meet each other, mainly because I'm pretty sure they're not going to get along. On my birthday I had my best friend, ex boyfriend, and dude friends at Goose's Acre, and the entire time before everyone arrived...
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Dreamin' BIGGGGG
I'm normally not much of a promoter of strange things to strange people I don't know, but I'm all for helping people make their dreams happen. So here ya go fuckers.
http://www.mixify.com/contest/somethingwicked
Clicky.
Cool. You clicked it right? It's not spam... Fuck you. It's not spam.
Ok. Now that you've clicked, vote for the band VICE CLUB. They've got a sweet remix to Thriller. Yes. That Thriller, with the hand movements like a Velociraptor (sp?) It's for the children!
No.
No it's not. But it is for my friend...
Monday, October 7, 2013
So This Is Love? ... Ladadada
Aww...
Oh.. wait, I meant, so this is love JKLAJKALDSJKLG:JD:KLJKL:ADJ:L!!!!
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!
Or lot's of stabbing...
The love I share... with the man I love, is a special kind. Filled with much adoration, as well as a specific need to want to kill him with sharp objects on the regular.
The only difference between him and ... well... the rest, is that I would miss him after I fed him to the fishes.
This man-child I'm dating...
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Fall with style
Let's talk about how I suck at being human.
Have you ever done something so incredibly embarrassing, and then just never forgotten about it.
I remember that one time I was publicly dumped ... in 5th grade by that one guy. I still remember his name and the color of the shirt I was silently spilling my tears on. Like, DAMN. That one still gets me in the feels. 10 year old awkward string bean of a tomboy just got pwned by a little popcorn fart of...
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Pretend
I use this blog in a lot of ways...
Today I'm using it to look like I'm intently working on something that is useful for my job. Don't get me wrong... I bust my ass at work, but sometimes I need a 15 minute break to chill and write or type. I've done it on my lunch break and my bosses are pretty lenient, but even if they did ask what I was doing I would just blank stare them to an uncomfortable presence only nerds who asked the prom queen for a...