YOU KNOW WHAT?!

I'm tired of feeling sad.
So I say fuck you sadness! I shall overcome.

You will not get the better of me. I will stomp on your dick and throw you out a window because that's how much I hate you!

Being female and sad is just horrible. You don't know what's PMS and what's actual depression. You're just sitting in your room thinking "God grant me the serenity to not commit mass homicide"... and BOOM. You're ok and you started your period. "Whew. I feel better now."

... Until next month.

But in all seriousness. I saw Magic Mike.
Did you like that subject change?

I know I did.

Magic Mike actually had an intelligent plot that fondled the heart strings and taught you many life lessons about loss of dignity and finding new happiness....

Nah I'm just fuckin with ya.

Magic Mike had a lot of hot guys dancing around humping the ground like bosses and Channing Tatum. Lots of Channing Tatum. And a little bit of humor.

I don't know what it is about Alex PEfjkfljodsi (whatever his last name is...Y'know that guy from I Am Number Four... which was really stupid) but I greatly dislike him. I want to punch him almost as bad as I want to trachea punch Christian Bale when he's playing Batman. Alex P. just ruins all things for me. Something about him just makes me want to rip his clothes off and pour acid all over him.

NO MORE ACTING FOR YOU SIR!

Too much?

Ok I wouldn't really do that but his acting... It hurts me.
You think you're a badass. I get it, but please stop with your weird lip movements and ridiculous lack of facial expressions. I feel like he's apathetic about everything.


Onward.

Also I saw Ted. I loved it. My only complaint was Mila Kunis.

*Pets screen* Shhhh you can do no wrong....

I love her. She's hot, she's petite, she has amazing eyes... but I can't take any funny movie seriously when they get to sad parts. I feel super awkward. So maybe my complaint isn't about her acting, maybe it was just the sad writing near the end of the movie. People in the movie theater were actually like "Awww... *sniff sniff* that's so sad."

I just can't.

Call me heartless but I came here to laugh. Not to be sad.
Still a very funny movie though.

Oh yeah by the way...
I'm not a great movie critic...Let's just get that one out of the way. Don't take any of what I say seriously. Judge the movies yourself.

On one last note before I leave you...

Fuck you sadness, you can suck my dick.... you can't get me sadness cause you're just gods farts.

I feel better now.

Also! Happy 4th of July... mine was a lovely one filled with intimidatingly large hotdogs... like "I'm so hungry but that hot dog looks like a ginormous horse wang so I don't really know if I'm gonna eat it or not... oh hell I'm starving I'll eat it. Oh my, I misjudged how awkward this would look."
It also had family and some funny new faces and Jello Shots that looked like... well... you be the judge on what they look like.

Like liquid marshmallow right?

Anyways, have a happy, safe, fun filled 4th of July.