I missed you.

You thought I forgot about you?

NEVER, WOULD I EVER FUCKING FORGET ABOUT YOU!

Hey, how ya been? Good?
Cool. Me too.

So this post is just going to be random babbling of the past few days. Let us begin with the thing that is freshest in my mind.

The other day I was lucky enough to be in some pretty pictures for my amazing photographer sister (which you can see here). She wanted to get some photo's having to do with light. The sun was setting, it was pretty out and I was thinking she would get a shot of anything but my face. I walked out of the bathroom in the dress she requested I bring and said "Ok. Is make-up completely necessary for these pictures or are we just getting the dress?" My brother-in-law chimmed in, "For you........ make-up is always necessary." Ass. Clown. This fool... I love him. He makes me laugh. But he is a clown sometimes.

Oh by the way, that pretty flower in the picture... it was hell getting that fucking flower.
FUCK that flower. There was this massive Henry the 8th bumblebee raping that flower and my sister HAD to have it. No.

So she's doing something that resembles a potty dance trying to somehow become invisible to the bee and... it wasn't working.

Then... I see half a brick just laying on the ground under some dirt.
So I pick it up.
And throw it.
At the bee.
Did it attack me?
FUCK NO, THAT BEE WAS A BITCH.
It flew right at my sisters head.
And she squeaked and karate chopped the air.
Funniest. Shit.

ONWARD.

I've been greatly enjoying my week thus far... I've gotten to hang out with my sister, it's been a good week for work, I had the enjoyment of feasting on some Mexican food with a handsome man, and no one I know is getting divorced, thank sweet baby heysoos. I'm really looking forward to this weekend. I'm supposed to be going to an ABC party and for those of you that don't know what that is... It's anything but clothes. To which I say FUCK NO. I just can't pull that off at the moment, nor do I really want to. It's a fun idea and maybe if I were more comfortable with my bits and pieces, I'd be down... but no. I don't see it happening. I'll get a flesh colored shirt and call it a day. BOOM.

MOAR.

I'm waiting on my friend to do the next guest blogger post... I'm super excited. This is her reminder... THIS IS YOUR REMINDER L.M. I want my story you beautiful bitch.
This particular girl... I've known for a while and let me just say you will not be disappointed with the funnies that explode out of her mind.

CLOWNSEX.

Exercising is becoming my new worst enemy. I don't feel the motivation. I am a champion procrastinator so "I'll do it tomorrow." turns into next week which turns into next month which turns into next year. By then I will be whale-esk. Is there anything or anyone out there that can motivate my ass? I just need a trainer... who lives with me... and pushes me out of bed every morning... and rides my ass about exercising every day... and watches what I eat, counts my calories for me, and if she could do my cardio workouts that would be ideal. Just sayin...

IDGAF.

People... I'm really in the best of moods right now. I think I had a moment of clarity where I just sat down and said "My life is soooo not that bad. It's actually pretty fuckin' great right now." In all honesty it is. I think some of that is just being single and figuring out who I want to be and being excited because I get to do it by myself. I like that. Single has it's ups and downs just like Married or It's Complicated (as Facebook so delicately puts it) has, but I'm enjoying the fact that I don't have to answer to anyone. I don't want to have to answer to anyone. BOOM. CLARIFIED. Taylor likes being single. I've got my friends, family and fun times and that's all I really want or need at the moment. Not one single fuck is being given. I'm just going with the flow people.

UPDATE:

Although she is CLEARLY shopped... I would really like to work towards her arms and stomach. Could this be future motivation? Or is it just something for me to cry over when I look at it after finishing this delicious donut?
Kate Middleton's cousin... you are a hot bitch... but seriously wth is up with your bra homes?

This hot bitch...