I went with a friend to get my fortune read. Not like a weird gypsy woman with a glass eye was coming at me shaking her frail wrist saying, "The end is nigh!!!" and "You are going to suffer great misfortune." It was actually the complete opposite.
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| Woulda walked right out. |
The Palm Reader/Card Reader: She was a nice woman who did the readings in her kitchen with 40 year old tarot cards that were originally her mothers. She likes to drink and she may be a little older but she likes to get down... if you know what I mean. *wiggles eyebrows*
If you don't know what I mean... she still gets the dick is what I mean...
She asked to see my palms and ran her hand over mine. She awkwardly whispered, "Your palms are sweaty." Well, yes. It's blazing hot and I'm nervous as virgin balls. Forgive me.
She read my palm for starters and said... "You have no life!"
Which obviously worried me a bit. Are you saying I'm gonna die?
Cause I will HAUNT YOU IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SAYING RIGHT NOW.
"No. I'm sorry, this is your first reading. I probably scared you. You have a long life line, but you have no life!" BURN! Touche fortune reader... touche.
She compared my hand to my friends hand and there was quite a bit of a difference. Her lines were a lot deeper than mine. I have no idea. She gave me this funny look and said, "You need a man!"
I just laughed. I actually laughed at a lot of what she said. She went from saying I need a man to calling men pendejos... frequently throughout the conversation
She then read the cards. Asked me to shuffle them 7 times which is not an easy feat with 40 year old cards. After that I was to cut them 3 times then pick the stack I wanted to start off with.
I always hate when I don't know what someone is thinking. Her facial expressions were telling, and then she'd make like a "huh that's so interesting" kind of noise. TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS!!!!
"Do you have any questions?"
When I'm put on the spot... my mind goes blank. I did wonder if the rumors about a certain ex were true. So I asked her, "Hey... is this true?"
She dealt the first line of cards and pointed to a man with dark hair by himself.
"He's a bad person. He has lied to you from the beginning. I don't know your agreement but stay away from him. He has a girl that he's been seeing for a long time." So on and so forth but not in a dark ominous way... more like a matter of fact way.
She dealt the second line of cards. "Hmmm. There's a man coming into your life very soon." She gave me a description and everything. I was like ... Well that's interesting.
"You're gonna marry him." Nope... didn't need to know that.
"A successful architect." Nope.
Don't worry dear friends. I apparently haven't met this man yet. But soon. So says she.
She told me what every known adult has told me. "You need to go back to school."
That's an order, not a fortune folks.
"Someone you know is about to get married. It will be a simple but pretty wedding. You'll be invited." I know exactly who she's talking about with that one.
She told me about my sister, mother, father and brother along with my niece and nephew. It was pretty cool how I didn't have to give her much to go on and she just went with it.
She informed me about an old ex who still thought about me in a kind way. Described him and gave me the first initial. To that dude I say "Aw thanks homes. I miss you too sometimes in a friend kind of way."
Then she told me some kind-of sad stuff but hey... life isn't all butterflies and menacing clowns. It was really interesting to hear her say things that I had kind of felt in my gut were true and some things I had wondered about. I'm not saying she's right about everything or that she's right at all. It was just a random spur of the moment idea to go. Why not? I think she was more encouraging than anything. She didn't tell me I was going to die anytime soon which is a plus and she said I would be happy. I mean... I can't really dislike someone who tells me these things. Even if I die tomorrow, because who's to say I won't except for the big G up there, I think some things are meant to be and others are something you decide on for yourself.
I was getting too deep there. <--- That's what he said.
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| There. Now I feel better. |
Overall it was a pretty interesting experience. I like that she wasn't trying to be cryptic or silly about the whole thing because I sure as hell felt like an awkward turtle as it was.
I didn't want to hear about 20% of what she told me because it was stuff that I'm supposed to find out later. I'm a very impatient person so if I truly took to heart what she said about everything I'd be going insane with having to wait it all out.
Alas, that was my experience with the Card Reader. Take it how you want. I thought it was pretty cool.
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