Y U Call Me?

Here's my biggest fucking pet peeve today.

People who call... and have nothing to say.

Let me explain by stating with class and poise, WHAT THE FUCK? YOU CALLED ME.

And now you're silent.

I'll set the scene for you.
It's 1:53 on a Friday afternoon and the phone rings at work. I've been taking calls since 9:00 in the morning and these people are angry and grumpy and rude. Without exaggeration, I have probably answered 43 phone calls at this point. So pardon me if I stare at it like I can telepathically set it on fire. It rings once more. I realize once again I've failed at being telepathic and decide to answer.

Me: Doctor's office.
Them: Is this the answering service?

Sidenote- This happens 79% of the time. Someone will ask if we are the answering service, I will say no and they will laugh and say "I never know because sometimes it's the answering service and sometimes it's not." What kills me is... we don't have an answering service. Back to the story...

Me: *rolling my eyes* No. It's the Doctor's office.
Them: Which Doctor's Office?
Me: *Dying internally and wanting to say... "The one you fucking called." Instead I say* Doctor Blahblah's office.
Them: Oh. Ok. Well, I was calling because..... Um.... I'm having an issue.
Me: Ok. .............................................
Them: ...............................................
Me: What... is the issue?
Them: Well I'd like to talk to the Doctor about it.
Me: He's in clinic at the moment. Can I take a message?
Them: Well I don't really know how to say it...

Me: *BANGING HEAD ON DESK* Oooook. Would you like to e-mail him?
Them: Oh yes, that would be much better.
Me: Ok his *click* (that clown hung up) ....... They're gonna call back for his e-mail.


Oh.
*Deep breaths.*
My.
*More deep breaths.*
God.

That entire conversation makes me want to juke a bitch in the throat on a daily basis.

I didn't know this actually happened.


Say I'm talking to a man/boy I like.
Me: Hello?
Them: Hey.
Me: Hey, what's up?
Them: Nothing.
Me: Sounds like fun, so how was your day?
Them: Good. Long.
Us: *Le Silence*

Wow..my finger is so much more interesting than this conversation bro.

Them: So how was your day?
Me: (I talk about my day for about 2 minutes straight)
*Silence for... meh 30 uncomfortable seconds. Then... So much silence that I think they either hung up, put me on mute, or my phone died and I've actually been talking to myself for 2 minutes.
Me: Hello?
Them: ...That's cool.

Fun fact: The bold means we said that at the same time.

At this point... I just feel anger towards my phone. So I stare at it and internally beat myself up and think, Why do I feel so compelled to answer you?

I'm literally laying in bed.
Staring.
At my phone.
Like I want it to DIE.
Wide eyed.
Eye twitching.
Just... holding it in front of my face with this crazy stare... and finally I  decide it's not my phones fault. It's their fault. Yeah. THEIR fault, because hey... I didn't call them, which means I don't feel it's necessary to talk to them.
So I say, "I'm going to sleep" and hang up.

Shit, maybe I'm just boring. I'm probably really boring. If that is the case though, STOP CALLING ME.

I just give up... If you have nothing to say, please for the love of my sanity, don't call me.

Oh and if you're going to ask about my day, at least pay attention! This hasn't recently happened, but it has been to the point on previous occasions where I will be asked about my day and then I hear them talking to someone else or doing something else. It's like damn... are you ordering fast food right now? I don't think you really care about my day... I think you just want to eat and have noise around.

You are a dick.

So... That is that. I'm in a good mood... I swear.