It will come swiftly and end horribly

Oh fucking hell.

I think I'm not in a good place as far as sanity goes.

Let's start with, I feel awful. I have a virus and it's a constant shitting, nausea, vomiting virus. I know, you're probably thinking, noooo Taylor, that's called pregnancy, but, FUCK YOU BECAUSE IT'S CALLED A GODDAMN VIRUS.

Pregnancy has given me my fair share of random shits and morning sickness. I get it, but this is NOT that. That is innocent in comparison. This... What I have... This is not innocent. It rips your insides apart and makes you think you're going into early labor because of the constant lower back pain. It stops you mid conversation and you have to brace yourself against the nearest solid backdrop as the cold sweats envelope your body and you break out in goosebumps that you can normally only compare to a horrible hangover. You have to breathe through the onslaught of gurgling, stomach churning, ass clenching embarrassment. It takes hold of your sanity, dignity and happiness and murders them with the smell of what can only be described as dead cats and decaying bodies of horrible lost souls. THIS is not pregnancy sickness. This is a virus.

And it fucking sucks.

Now aside from the fact that every time I sneeze it feels like I'm about to unleash a brown sea of death all over my seat, I'm trooping through. I'm drinking water, eating healthy foods and trying to just calm down and not let this rule my life for the week that it's supposed to.

My boss has the same thing. But since he's my boss, he went home. Because he didn't feel good.

*sigh*

I called my doctor because,

1.) I want to shove Imodium in every crevice of my body if it will make it work faster.
2.) I'm pregnant and didn't feel like this was "normal" for pregnancy
3.) My asshole is about to fall off. Help.

She told me that 3 of her nurses had to go home with it. A lot of preggos have been calling in with the same symptoms and I can't take Imodium because the shit just needs to flow in order to get better. So there's nothing I can do about this. I'll just sit and wait. On the toilet. It's safe there.

That's all I got today, otherwise I'm just gonna shit my pants while typing.